Author: Dad Cave

Twins to Triathlon

The majority of being a dad seems to consist of going with the flow. This flow is dictated by your kids. The seemingly endless nights of extremely interrupted sleep ended for me about 4 months ago when the twins started sleeping through the night. Surely the mere mention of this to the world has cursed us indefinitely. An immediate apology to my wife as the children will revert to their previous pattern nighttime yelling, crying, chatting or running into our bedroom to offer an update regarding the proximity of the moon or pose an insightful question about cheese. It’s going to happen and that’s fine.

With all the extra time and energy at my disposal, I decided it was time to end my careless lifestyle, kicking my latest healthy-me campaign into major gear. Yes, the 4.5 year bender of unmeasured food and beverage consumption, parental fatigue and overall slothiness was over. It was a good run, but it was time.

Things started in earnest Feb 1st, when I decided to focus on changing my diet completely. Every successful fad diet I have taken on had one thing in common – it has to be simple. This means, no time for recipes, tricks or include items which I don’t like. This recent restart attempt was no different. I decided considering it was a short month, I would follow the “Whole30” albeit for 28 days. Essentially, this meant no alcohol, grains, dairy, processed food, sugar and all the other things which I enjoyed during the aforementioned dad bender.

Along with the dive into healthy eating, I committed to use my gym membership daily. Things started off pretty slow and I treated it as a reintroduction to exercise – meaning there were certainly days where the extent of my exercise was walking on a treadmill, drinking lots of water, admiring my lack of effort in the plethora of mirrors and of course shooting hoops. It is truly amazing how uncoordinated I have become as evident by the lack of hoops actually made – downside of being a dad or just out of practice? Toss up.

Best stick to defense.

A week into the lackluster meandering throughout the gym escalated and a few substantial back injuries from improper form later, I came across the pool. I’ve always heard it was easy on the joints and I was desperate to maintain my goal of working out each day… but gym ‘go-to’s’ of kettlebells, Olympic lifting and box jumps were out given I was essentially immobile. The next day I packed the most tropical bathing suit in my repertoire and jumped on in the pool. To get started I went through a mixed medley of strokes I learned from watching the Olympics infused with exasperated walking lunges and general flailing. The times I did manage to swim a “lap” I looked like a hyperventilating distressed seal in a cold whirlpool. Ten minutes the ‘workout’ was done and believe it or not I was intrigued enough to continue down this path given there was no lumbar impact.

Eventually I became a daily swimmer and Whole30 enthusiast. It seemed to be working as all the fat around my face had melted away after 2 weeks. I began to work in a pretty standard routine of waking up at 4am to get to the gym and swim and really commit to the meat and potatoes diet. Patent Pending / Cookbook in the works.

Feeling the power of the newfound routine, particularly powered by potatoes, I felt it was time once again to shake things up and I peppered in running some mornings. Keep in mind I have a history of running, blogging and blogging about running. I was able to pick it back up without too much additional back pain. 2 months in and roughly 15 pounds of face fat later it is early April and I’ve gotten my groove back.

Before and After Time lapse of face fat loss

It’s no surprise I take to running as a duck to water as my dad was a runner. Some of my fondest memories are actually as he return home after a run. Always an athlete, I know now that he picked it back up as a means to unwind, stay fit and take a well deserved break from his dadly duties. A pinnacle of his running career as a dad was his participation in a triathlon relay with some friends, where he ran the final leg. It’s a day I remember well and have always admired his ability to train and stay fit while being a great dad to 5 precarious kids.

Dad finishing his run

Folks, what we have here is a perfect storm of emotion and new found drive to get fit. Inspired by the one year anniversary marking my dad’s passing just a few weeks ago, I completed the longest run since completing my half marathon, I decided I was going to do a Triathlon of my own – in honor of my dad and all that he accomplished as a dad.

As a dad of 3, nothing is easy but everything is awesome. No bones about it. Keep me honest people and I will keep you posted on this journey.

A Baby Monitor Worth Packing

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It’s going to happen. By choice or necessity you are going to have to go on an overnight with your kids. Whether for a vacation, holiday or emergency, I always like to keep an eye or ear on those babies when they have to sleep in another room. I’ve found a product which satisfies this desire without complicated set up or a need for the WIFI password.

Hello Baby Wireless Video Baby Monitor

If you have multiple children and prefer keeping an eye on them rather than relying on just audio – this is your camera. We liked it so much for one baby, when we had twins we ended up with 3 of these things and labeled the video monitor with the appropriate baby’s name.

3 in action – note the label for ‘Sophia’ originally hastily written as ‘Sofia’ after days of sleeplessness.

Overall, the battery life is great when not plugged in – typically 4-6 hours. The audio and video quality are suitable as well. I never tried the microphone function as I am not into confusing babies, but it’s available for those who like to keep them guessing! Even if you are someone who likes to keep things in the dark, these would work well for you as they have an option to turn off the live video feed. These cameras offer a pretty decent night vision video stream and no WIFI needed.

All of this for under $100 per camera. The only drawback really is the notification beeping when your camera is not plugged in and running out of battery – it scared my dog (Betty) quite a bit. More to come on her in future posts. Get it, or 2 here – Link Sponsored by Amazon.

4.5 Z’s out of 5.
This product is so good you’ll enjoy almost unencumbered slumber

This is us, in the NICU

We have a “This is Us” super-fan in our household and I rarely partake in viewing the show for no good reason other than I feel it’s often too ‘real’ for me. My preferred genres are often aimed to entertain sans emotions – which I like to save for the important things, like family time and football season.

Recently, her show was on in the background and I caught a glimpse of the scene where a couple was the NICU with their tiny baby and time stopped – damn you superhuman peripherals. I immediately was flooded with emotions and memories of the two times my children were in the NICU, my son for 13 days, and my twins for 3-4 weeks. It was easily the most emotional, stressful, and trying times of my life. Considering I was overjoyed to have new children to look forward to raising, I found it challenging to separate the future from the present while looking through the Plexiglas of an incubator at my child.

Although there’s no magic recipe for Dads to follow while parenting a child in the NICU, there are some things that I learned that I feel could be helpful or at least make NICU-NEWB-Dads aware of what they can expect even if there’s truly no proper way to prepare.

Since you been gone

The NICU staff will act to do what’s best for your babies without a lengthy discussion to make sure you agree. This seems obvious because it is. In practice, however, you will find it can catch you off guard, causing those pesky emotions to rear their ugly crying heads. This happened frequently while both my son and daughters were in the NICU. The most memorable (traumatic) time was with my son who had begun to develop jaundice a few days while in the NICU. Taking a moment to breath myself, I left his side for a walk as he remained under the care of the staff. When I came back he had a huge black light over him as well as a mask over his eyes. I have never felt so chopped down in my entire life as there was nothing to do. To top things off, no one was around immediately as the nurses were tending to their other patients as my son was fine. I still managed to let a pretty good freak-out fly and a nurse promptly came by after hearing me squawk like a wounded red tail hawk which had just looked at the sun. I was informed succinctly and calmly the reasons for the light and how long to expect the treatment.

This was the first true freak-out in the NICU. It was also the first time I understood he was in the best place he could possibly be in given the care and expertise of the nurses by his side 24/7. Also, this happens a lot so try not to get bent out of shape every time.

It will feel a bit like a bait and switch for dads when your child has to overcome such obstacles in the NICU. I was prepared to be the protector, teacher and #1 playmate for my son. With more machines and wires than your IT’s server closet assisting your baby’s growth and adapting to life, it’s extremely frustrating to not have the capacity to act as a traditional dad right out of the gate. It takes time to realize that when you are there for your baby/babies as well as and most importantly their mom – you are making quite the impact.

What the bleep

There’s no getting around it, there’s a lot of beeping in the NICU. Lot’s of bleeping bleeps and beeping alarms. Depending on how many roommates you have, be prepared for a steady stream of monitor flashing, alarms of various lengths, animated charts, heart rate tones, and babies crying. No getting around it, it’s pretty difficult to focus on relaxing and spending time with your significant other and your baby – given all of the alarms going on.

To reiterate, the nurses have it under control. If I had to guess, I’d say well over 100% of the time I overreacted to anything happening with my kids. I can say this confidentiality as anytime a monitor, alarm or alert was relating to my baby, the nurses were always on it. They even had the uncanny ability to verbally address my stressful mutterings and questions while checking on their patient. Trust me, trust them.

Learning Dad

There were a few things that I might not have necessarily done prior to having a baby which would help me out as a dad. Things like changing a diaper, picking up a baby, holding a baby while standing, handing a baby to another person, giving a baby a bath, holding a baby correctly, feeding a baby a bottle, dress a baby in the gymnastics onesie, putting a baby in a car seat, laying a baby in a bed – just to scratch the surface. What’s even more shocking about my lack of dadly abilities pre-kids is that I have a litter of nieces and nephews of various ages where I could have gotten some practice in.

 

Trying things out for the first time in the NICU fit with the environment and overall feel for the times, It took some time for me to work up the courage to change my son’s diaper in the NICU. Remember, this would be the first, EVER. He was so small and I was already so nervous with all the beeping, alarms and such. To top things off, he was connected to a rainbow array of wires, had circular pads placed gently in strategic areas and clips on either his toes or fingers to monitor his oxygen. I was often asked if I wanted help change his diaper or hold him or feed him very early on. Eventually, when I was more comfortable with my surroundings, nurses, and doctors, I went for it. As nervous and slow as I was, it was really no big deal, mainly because it wasn’t the messy type of diaper. I easily was able to navigate the situation with a patient the helpful nurse standing by should I have a panic attack.

It’s never easy, but it gets better with practice and courage. Truly a microcosmic of being a dad – sometimes you have to just hold your breath (literally and figuratively, you’ll know which for when) and dive in. When I became a NICU-DAD-PRO it was time for my son to come home. 2 years later, I was the dad for twins in the NICU for double the time. Even with all that I had learned, it still was not easy – but I found my rhythm and I was keenly aware that their tiny diapers were nothing compared to my now 2 year old’s abominations.

Home ready

It is inevitable for those who have babies needing to stay longer stay in the NICU – you will not be around or awake to tend to your baby as well as the nursing staff. Not to worry, the essentials are being done systematically. Things like feeding times, diaper changes, vital checks, and coddling are being done routinely and systematically. This is a huge positive for parents and babies alike. The staff is getting your littles on such an amazing schedule which can be easily transferred under your care when going home as a complete family. Once you bring your NICU-grad home, you will be best served to keep them on this routine.

Be the Dad

Being a Dad does not start when you take your baby home. It starts immediately. Don’t let the lights, beeps or inexperience scare you away from the fact that you are on deck. If you want to hold your baby – do it and ask for help if your baby is hooked up to too many wires or you help to get them out of an incubator or bed. If you want to feed your baby – great, know the time they are due to get fed and do it. If you want to change a diaper – get in there and change that mini pamper. Not going to sugar coat it, the diapers get unfathomably worse as they get older.

Enjoy the premie days and the NICU.